Why do we make excuses for things like not exercising/not finding a new job/not giving up smoking - and do we actually believe them when we make them?
We are all creatures of habit, most of us like things to be familiar and stay the same, even if that means they aren’t always good for us. Part of the problem is that we often strongly identify our lifestyle habits with our personality and that we secretly addicted to who we think and believe we are, and don’t really want to change.
We subconsciously justify everything we do we believe that we are always right, change means admitting we may be wrong. On a deeper level, many of us actually enjoy our suffering; we enjoy moaning and complaining about our lives, more than we think might enjoy the challenge of making our lives better.
Some people secretly make promises to themselves about things that they know deep down they aren’t going to be able to fulfil. When they fail, as they knew they would, they tell themselves, ‘look you’re rubbish, lazy, good-for-nothing’ etc… Of course whatever we believe about ourselves we create in our lives, so this kind of ‘setting yourself up to fail’ doesn’t help you get the confidence, self-belief or love for life you are going to need to make any significant changes.
Change often means a leap into the unknown, it means risking who we are for who we might become. When we move forwards towards a more positive future we often need to jump, to leap from the place we are to were we want to be, it is the fear of that void, the unknown, the fear that we might not make it that stops us from making the jump in the first place.
What are the most common excuses women make - and how can they hold you back?
There are as many excuses as there are people in the world, we are all addicted to the person and personality we think we are. Realising that you might be addicted to the dramas, excuses you make in your life, is the first step of breaking your addiction. When you’re addicted to a way of life, to a set of beliefs about yourself, you can justify just about anything and the list of ‘reasons why’ are endless.
How can we go about shifting our attitudes so we stop making excuses and start facing challenges head-on? How easy is this to do - and will we always be successful?
Start to be really honest with yourself, spend some time looking within, and begin to ask yourself the really important and difficult questions about your life.
Do I really want to be happy? Do I really want to live my life to the full? Do I care deeply about myself and the people in my world?
Asking yourself why you might have slightly self-destructive tendency?
Simply speaking ask yourself do you want to live or die?
Every negative thing you do in your life, every negative self-belief and self-talk is heading in only one direction, that of a slow, glamorous suicide, and conversely every positive and life affirming thought, speech and action that you invest your energy in is moving you towards a fuller, richer and more meaningful life.
The bottom line is, love yourself deeply! Then you’ll make choices that are realistic, successful and life affirming.
This post was written by Urban Guru on September 5, 2007
