We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.

Anais Nin was spot on when she made the above observation.

Have you ever helped a friend through a relationship crisis and been absolutely stunned and amazed when you got around to chatting to their significant other to get their interpretation of events?

It’s like, “are you guys talking about the same thing?”

How can two people in the one relationship or situation, talking about the same issues, have such a completely different take on things and both ‘know’ they’re right? This happens in marriages, workplaces, friendships and a range of situations, every second of every day, in every corner of the globe.

It’s called perspective; how WE personally see things.

Our reality.

To my amazement and disappointment, I discovered a few years ago that not everyone lives on my planet.

Obviously a big loss for humanity.

Sadly, I had to learn to listen to others; not easy for an only child.

Our personal opinion would be all we needed….if we were the only one in the relationship. Fortunately or unfortunately (again, it’s a perspective thing) most of us interact with a range of people in a range of situations and circumstances, for a range of reasons, trying to create a range of outcomes, everyday.

Here’s what I’ve learned in twenty five years of communicating for a living:

1. I need to listen more than I speak.
2. I need to talk with people, not at them.
3. In order for me to be able to genuinely connect with people, I need to know how they see the world (or at least try).
4. I will learn more about someone by watching than I will by listening to them
(93% of communication is non-verbal).
5. Many people will tell me what they think I want to hear.
6. I can’t impose my values, beliefs or opinions on people.
7. I can have the best motives and intentions… and still hurt and offend people.

Keep up the great work U.G.

http://www.mancubist.co.uk/