How to be a Player – Part One
The Secrets of Bilateral Seduction
In the normal course of events if you fancy someone of the opposite sex, or the same sex for that matter, you’re less likely to be yourself and act normally. Yet this abnormal behaviour on your part is precisely what is most likely to put the other person off.
You see that in the slip moment when you see that attractive person across the room there are a million bits of information running around your head and before you’ve even blinked you’ve put yourself in our out of their league.
You see, when you see someone that you find attractive, you subconsciously rate him or her and then also rate yourself. You normally give them a higher rating than yourself; you might give them a 9/10 and give yourself a 6/10.
And this is where the problem lies; if you fancy them and don’t rate yourself very highly, you’re likely to behave in a way that is either slightly desperate or a little bit shy.
Slightly Desperate: could mean that you use corny chat up lines, or beg them to let you buy them a drink, or are just a little creepy or down right in their face and pushy.
Shy: means that you don’t even get around to opening your mouth to say hello.
Now Slightly Desperate is marginally better than Shy, because you’ve jumped over that gap between you and the person you fancy and you’ve made some-kind of attempt at communicating.
But Bilateral Seduction approaches the situation completely differently.
The problem starts at the very beginning, you rate yourself in comparison to other people and most importantly to the person you fancy.
And the point is that if you rate the other person significantly above yourself then you’re more likely to act stupid and stop just being your normal and fantastic self.
So what I’m suggesting is this, learn to rate yourself higher.
That is you first need to find yourself attractive, to become attractive and sexy in your own estimation.
Now obviously there is a difference between arrogance and confidence but it is a subtle although profound one. But not something we need to talk about at this point.
If you increase your own feelings of attractiveness you change the balance of power, between you and the person that you fancy. Instead of you chasing after them in a desperate and slightly embarrassing series of self-fladulating Mr Bean impressions, you become the seductive Casanova, passionate, interesting, exciting and really fanciable person that the other person wants to get to know (in the biblical sense of course).
