Creating a new personal paradigm, a brand new worldview which completely changes the way you see and understand yourself and the world is the most important step in creating your very own personal utopia.

In order to truly free from the pervasive cultural influences of modernity and for that matter post-modernity, it’s important to root your new worldveiw outside of the conventional system of thought and outside the power system of current social and governmental influences. What I’m suggesting is a radical shift in focus and awareness and a profound change in lifestyle and life orientation.

But that paradigm has to be unwaveringly positive, enthusiastic and absolutely divine.

Many spiritual traditions particular popularist views of Buddhism, some elements of spiritualist Christianity, Kabbalistic Judaism and Sufism and much of the New Age movement seem to focus on the suppression and ultimately on the obliteration of the Ego as a fundamental path towards getting closer to God and/or your ‘Higher Self’.

I’m personally schooled in the Kabbalistic and Chassidic tradition and this is a discussion that has been going on for hundreds if not thousands of years. What does it mean to let go of your ego and how is is done? And where does it go? What’s the end result?

To be honest I’m not sure I’ll manage to answer these questions but I’m hoping to explore the issue in a little depth, not from a historical or sociological perspective as I’m sure has been done by someone, but from the perspective of an Urban Guru, a modern-day pseudo-mystic living in the urban sprawl and what the different approaches to Ego and individuality within my own particular spiritual tradition and journey have meant to me.

When first coming into contact with an all embracing spiritual tradition and monastic lifestyle, I was interested in why my Rabbi’s started laughing when I used the words, “I”, “me” or “my”. Of course they were not only being a little condescending but they were also trying to teach me something, something that they felt was central to my own spiritual development, namely self nullification (Bittul) or loosing the ego.

The problem is that this idea isn’t at all widely understood by the way that I hope it was originally meant.

‘Bittul’ or self nullification, as it was and might still be taught in the different monastic communities I have lived in, was in effect and actual practice, a spiritually motivated form of masocism. And it was used primarily as a tool to impose conformity within the monastery.

I remember that even the notion that ‘There is nothing but Him’ I.e. God, was used to remind the initiates that we were nothing.

Now of course all of this information can be taken in any number of ways, but the way I took it was not a positive letting go of my limited self obsessed universe, in exchange for comfortable trust and awareness of the unity of all things.

But rather as a complete and utter destruction of my self and everything I was, or had been, was falling away into the great and infinite abyss of the unknown.

I of course tried to hold on to some sort of identity, some notion of self, all the while, everything that I didn’t hold on to was been stripped away, sucked falling into the great Nothing – the Kabbalistic Ayin.

These where tumultuous and scary times, conform or risk alienation, would I be giving up enough of myself so that the rabbi smile at me today? Or would I be invisible?

Was this also part of my letting go of self identity? Was this part of the programme? To leave everything behind and become someone else? To wash away the memories of a life previous from entering the monastery?

“Do, do it, don’t ask questions!”, “First do and then ask!”, “Overcome your limitations every day”, “Overcome the limitations of your previous day”, “learn more”, “do more”, “forget the past”, “embrace the future”, “read more”, “internalise it more”, “become it more”, “stop resisting it”, “it is holy and good for your soul even if you or your lowly body doesn’t like it”, “the body must be smashed like a thick piece of wood on a fire for it to catch light”, “you must crush your body and your physical desires, your evil incination, your animal soul, so you can set your holy soul free”. – I was told.

The opposing idea to Bittul is Yesh which is equivalent to Ego or Self. Which was of course frowned upon and considered to be one of the biggest insults.

But paradoxically, in amongst this orgy of self depreciation, whispers of a different voice can be heard in the rush of air between the pages of these masters. Ideas and realities discovered in the plane of non-being that disclose a glimmer of true Being.

The Mitiler Rebbe, said “The created self (Ego) is the True Self (God).”

End of part 1.

Twitter and Facebook have given me an outlet for some short, sometimes even profound quotable spiritual insights. But as a result of having my need to share these crazy ideas and experiences satiated, it seems that my Urban Guru blog has not been updated in a long time.

Twitter updates do provide me is an opportunity to encapsulate a deep insight in under 140 characters, which is its self a form of meditation, no doubt. But I’ve found that larger bits of continuous thought, a linear progression of one or two ideas, has become more difficult.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place for everything, a time a place for contemplating and a time for doing what needs to be done. However useful updating my virtual profile is, I’ve also lost something. I’ve lost that time that I used to make to actually attempt to write something more cohesive, something in more detail, a theme better explored or explained. And that’s a shame.

True having 2 kids and running about means that I have less time to think, but still, I believe that there is so much good stuff within me waiting to come out that I’m required to spend some time developing it.

The impact of Tweeting on my ability to think for more than 140 characters shouldn’t be underestimated. Yes it’s true I’ve got a very sensitive mind, but nonetheless I’m even finding it difficult to continue this little blurb without constantly being aware of the time and letters I’m taking up.

But life, if lived fully needs more time, more space, more patients, more detail, more fulfilling and deep insights, not just for the people reading this stuff, but mainly for me. It’s what I need.

Just getting back in touch with that inner writer, that verbose and lyrical spiritual enlightener, that might take you on an inner journey of hope and insight. Ahhh… that would be good.

Is this a New Year’s resolution? I hope not! I strongly discourage people from making them. Anyways, I’m starting over, so for the meantime forgive my style, it will improve as I get back into the groove.

Much love – U.G.

1. Spend time imagining the best-case-scenario for your winter break, but be completely relaxed about the outcome.

2. You always have complete free choice about who you spend time with, and the power to choose to be where you want to be at any given moment.

3. Take advantage of your time off work and focus on who you really are outside of your job.

4. Make time for the people in your life who are really important to you and enjoy their company.

5. Always listen to and trust yourself, if you feel you’ve had enough mince pies then; STOP! and be good to yourself. You are more important than social pressures.

6. There’s meaning and purpose to be found in any situation, so discover it!

7. Wherever you find yourself, allow yourself to be there with 100% of your being and make a conscious decision to enjoy it, no matter what.

8. Attract new people into your life by being more like the kind of person you’d most like to meet.

9. Making New Years resolutions that you know you wont keep doesn’t help you, so only decide to do things that are you are completely believe in, Mind-Body & Soul.

10. Allow yourself to believe in the magic, fairy dust, the hope and the future. Because that’s what it’s really all about, believing in the possibility, that your dreams can and do come true.

In realms of spiritualised consciousness where those oh-so common delusions of time and space are thin watery memories, I found myself gently wrapped in some soft and sublime inner light as I communed in profound naivety with the soul of the Messiah himself.

We sat face to face and swam within the lucidly sea of the mystical secrets, as their waters flowed around us and within us. He pointed to and revealed embedded dimensions hidden within the very blueprints of creation of such unutterable profundity and unimaginable understanding that the seams of all existence began to slowly unravel in a ballet of unbecoming.

He smiled with that cheeky but knowing Buddha-like Cheshire cat smile that I’d previously failed noticed.

Why are you showing me these things I asked? Don’t get me wrong, I like this stuff and I’m completely amazed and terrified by them, but I can’t do anything about them, who I am?

Still smiling, he mumbled something incoherent about needing ingredients for a cake and something about cracking eggs. And then he winked.

He winked as if he was taking to some older wiser me, as if I understood him, but I didn’t, as if he was talking to a drinking buddy of his who got his jokes, but I looked back a little blankly in childlike naivety and tried to hide the fact that I didn’t.

After an eternity I got it, “Ahh!” I said, “I’m going to be part of a Bigger Cake!”

“No!” he replied, “the cake has no parts, you are the cake.”

I’ve got it on good authority that Deepak Chopra is coming to talk to Manchester at the Bridgewater Hall sometime in September.

If you want any more info you’re gonna have to call me.

Peace & Blessings

Max

07877 315 216

Despite what society would like you to believe, you already know intuitively, that real success isn’t measured by what you own, but rather, by who you are. Ultimately it is a real sense of contentment in all the areas of your life that is the true measure of, what I’d like to describe as, ‘successful living’. It’s a new ‘360 degree’ way of viewing success, not merely by the number of zero’s in your Swiss bank account, or your relative position in high society, but rather about you feeling happy and successful in every part of you life, from your career and finances through to your health and relationships. Where to start?
Exercise 1. The Simple Life Audit
Grab a piece of paper, notebook, PDA and rate your happiness and satisfaction in the following categories from 1 to 10, where 1 is seriously unhappy and 10 is ecstatic. What number would describe how content you are with these areas of your life? Health & Fitness, Career, Relationship, Home, Friends and Social Life, Meaning and Purpose, Creativity Family, Leisure, Finances.
What you’ll probably find is that in some areas of your life you are quite satisfied and in other not happy at all. But if you want to live more successful in all areas of your life; finically, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, then some things have to practically change.
Those areas which scored lowest are the ones that need the most improvement and fast! How are you going to change those things in your life? Those things that you haven’t changed or done anything about in years?
How are you going to readjust and create that feeling of success in areas of our lives that you’ve previously given little or no attention to, and honestly don’t feel like a success? And why if it’s so plainly obvious that those areas of your life needed change, why haven’t you succeeded at improving it, or achieving your goals already?
The reason is, that we’re all creatures of habit, most of us like things to be familiar and stay the same, even if that means they aren’t always good for us. Part of the problem is that we often strongly identify our lifestyle habits with our personality and that we secretly addicted to who we believe we are, and don’t really want to change.
On some level, many of us actually enjoy moaning and complaining about our lives, more than we think might enjoy the challenge of making our lives significantly better. Change means risking who we are, for who we might become.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we always justify everything we do; most of the time we believe that we’re always right. Change is difficult and often uncomfortable, not because changing our lifestyle is painful, but rather because it means doing something, that no one likes to do, and that is; admitting that we might be wrong or have gone wrong somewhere along the path.
Exercise 2. The Simple But Difficult Questions
Start to be really honest with yourself, spend some time looking within, and begin to ask yourself the really important and difficult questions about your life.
Do I really want to be happy? Do I want to live successfully as a complete human being? Do I really want to live my life to the full?
If you’re finding this line of thought difficult, try this out for size:
What would you do if you were told that you only had twelve months to live?
What would your priorities be? How would you want to live your life differently? How would you want to be remembered? Who would you want to become? Would you still do your job? Would you still be polite to people who really annoy? Would you care what people thought?
Or would you find out what your real priorities and life goals are?
Hopefully after all this introspection there are two things you know;
1.    That you want to be happy and live successfully
2.    That you’ve got some idea about who and where you want to be in the not too distant future.
But when you are moving forwards towards a more positive future we often need to jump, to leap from the place we are to where we want to be, and you can do this easily by having a plan.
Exercise 3. The Simple Five Year Plan
The idea behind a life-plan is to help you find out where it is you want to be heading in your life, but more importantly, it can help you take simple and practical steps towards making your dreams come true.
Where would you like to be, in five years time? Can you imagine yourself, being significantly healthier and wealthier? Can you see yourself becoming a generally happier, calmer and more relaxed individual? Or can you sense the excitement of being even more successful in all areas of your life?
It doesn’t have to be a very detail plan, just a sketch, an outline, I find it works best if you plan backwards.
Year 5 -
Year 4 -
Year 3 -
Year 2 -
Year 1 -
Now you can begin to run towards your future – even though this plan may change, at least you’ve now got a much clearer idea and vision of where you are going.
Exercise 4. Feel The Future Now
There is one really important component to realising your goals and living successfully and that is that it’s got to start doing it now. Not just because if you don’t start to make even a small change in your lifestyle now, you probably never will. And not just because, if you don’t start now, you’ll always be putting off tomorrow until tomorrow, and when tomorrow comes, there’s always another tomorrow.
But if you want these dreams to come true (and they really can) then to start to live as if they are already true now, start to feel the benefits of that that future success now.

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The world, universe and everything and beyond, the myriads of angels, energetic spheres of influence, every fibre of existence… is pulsating in and out of being . The entire lot, all of it is being created from the essence of all being, and ‘pulsating’ in and out of existence, from absolute nothingness into brand spanking new, every fraction of a moment. According to some in the sciences the entire Universe and everything in pulsates in and out of existence every 10×26 times per second.
That’s 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times per second!

Life is actually much like a film strip, but it’s moving so fast that we can’t seem to notice it. The wave particles flux naturally from wave to particle continuously.

What this means is that you are not bound to the person and situation you believed you were a fraction of a second before. Your own conception of yourself and the world is merely a lucky bunch of ideas and memories that have managed to stick around even though they blipped in and out of existence billions of times a second, and only because you want them to be there for you, because you think they make your life easier, but they are not reality, they are just little movements of electricity in your brain.

The Kabbalistic tradition does believe in reincarnation, but the real question how are you going to use the information you find out about yourself and your previous lives and incarnations?

How are you going to live your life as a result of the idea of reincarnation? If you are going to say to yourself; why worry about my spiritual development, I’ve got a myriad of incarnations to come back and perfect myself, then you’ve got the wrong end of the stick.

If you’ve going to use the idea of reincarnation as a way to undermine the immense importance and sacredness of your life then reincarnation is a load of rubbish!

The great Urban Gurus stress that you have to live your life, as though this was in you’re your last-ever incarnation.

See your life as the totality of all your previous lives, as the highest rung of enlightened self-realisation, that in this life you can achieve ‘Moshiach consciousness’, the kabbalistic equivalent of Buddhahood. Now in this life, this lifetime, this incarnation, in this very moment, not only you are able to achieve true enlightenment, but you are already truly enlightened!

So this is your last incarnation, this is it! You could be easily temped into believing that because this life seems to be so very short, you’ve got to cram, and pack as much stuff in it as humanly possible. You might think that living life to the max implies living dangerously, on a perpetual adrenaline rush of experiences, but this is not the case.

There is another idea, which is meant to work in partnership with the idea ‘this is your last incarnation’, and that is the idea/belief (yet to be fully realised in less than a handful of people throughout human history) that you are going to and will in fact live for one thousand years! That’s right, at least 1000 years.

Now however wild that may sound, the Urban Gurus believe that every human being, if they achieved personal redemption and lived in a perpetual utopia could and would naturally live for a thousand years.

It’s like the natural ‘best-before’ date on a human being is 1000 years, but it’s just because of other, social, educational and spiritual factors which rapidly increase the aging process therefore reducing the life expectancy to less than 10% of its natural (utopian) shelf life.

The bazaar and twisted irony is that if we stared to live our lives as though we had a thousand years to live, we might just begin to live a lot longer. But the trick to starting to live and experience your own personal utopia is to combine the two ideas together:

1.    To realise that this is your last incarnation and
2.    To live as though you have a thousand years to live it.

There is a peculiar Kabbalistic custom which encourages tasting the food prepared for the Sabbath before the day actually begins.

On a practical level, this hopefully ensures that the food tastes ok, and if it need a bit more salt or curry power then you’ve got the opportunity to remedy it before the Sabbath.

However there is also a personal and spiritual element to this practice, and this is to anticipate the peace, holiness and redemption of the universal Sabbath before it has actually taken place.

That means that you are able and in fact strongly encouraged to taste and anticipate redemption, utopia in the present moment, before the coming of the Universal Utopia. What this means is that you are actually able to starting living in a utopian state, even before any evidence for a greater scene is taking place on the global stage. Which is really the main idea of this manual.

The way to do this is to use your imagination, and imagine what the world might be like if there was peace on earth. Moreover, imagine in detail what you own personal life would be like if there was peace on earth and anything was possible. How would you feel? How would you be? What kind of life would you live?

Imagining a possible future in the present not only makes it more likely to happen but it also fills you body with feel good chemicals, ones that help you to change the way you feel, and the way you have programmed yourself. By re-programming your internal chemical landscape your encourage new neural pathways to be born, and you help to actually create your future reality, not because you are a prophet but because you have begun to live in your future now. The change in you is more than just chemical it is electromagnetic and also quantum.

One word spoken with intention is more powerful than a million mumbled prays, magical incantations and babblings from Holy Scriptures.

Words without intentions are like the bodies of Angels without souls, and words without intentions are like souls without bodies. But words said with intention have the power to storm heaven and permanently transform the entire cosmos forever!

Guard you thoughts! Since your intentions become the souls of angels – in turn they desperately look for bodies to become incarnate within – they wish and yearn for life, to become real, to be about to carry out their life mission. They will if desperate enough inhabit the lifeless bodies of the dead Angels created by words said without intentions.

So Guard your tongue! Because whatever words you utter without intention, creates soulless bodies of angels, and the souls of other Angels are eagerly waiting to jump into them and make them come true. However because you are not the creator of the soul of this angel you have very little control over them and they can often be the cause of cosmic stuff that you never intended to happen.

Make you words count – and say what you mean. – But be careful what you wish for – it might just come true.

No one can teach you the ancient wisdom contained in your being they can only be your mirror. I hate teachers, gurus, rabbis, politicians, priests, swamis and other self-declared authoritarian quacks that think that they know best, that they are somehow superior and better than regular common people.

The bible I think, could be something else, unequivocally declares that in the eyes of the Divine there’s no difference between the so-called ‘wise’ and the animals in the field.  Moreover, when someone sets himself or herself up as being better than others or more ‘divine’, or promise they can make you happy or bring you enlightenment or that they can actually teach you something – they have become idols.

Serving them becomes idolatry and will give you no real or long-term benefit. They’ll suck your soul clear out of your body, leaving you empty and desolate.

One of the greatest Kabbalist that ever lived was also a fantastic prophet, his name was Ezekiel and he taught one of the most profound teachings ever, he says that in the utopia ‘one man will no longer teach his neighbour, because all will know Me (God)’ –

This means that in reality the deepest depth of your being is the same Being which is the Divine Cosmic Intelligence, and even your experience of ego – of Me’ness is actually a divine manifestation of the true Me – which is The Divine itself.

Sometimes you may feel that you need to pray, and that’s cool, in fact asking the Universe for the things you need to be yourself completely, is really important, praying for thing things you want – sometimes we don’t ask and that’s a problem, asking, and articulating what you need and want help you on a number of levels.

It says to your holy and Godly self that you are in deed worthy, that you are worth it, that you are important and that you needs are important, that your happiness is important, that your hopes and aspirations are important YOU ARE IMPORTANT ! ! ! Telling yourself that is often all that is needed for the universe to stick a stamp and post that big lump of mulla with your name on it. You see if you’ve never asked for why would you think that you’d get it?

The miracle that is said to have taken place in the Jerusalem Temple:

In the Holy Land, in Jerusalem the Holy City, stands the Holy Temple, walking up to it is a Holy experience, as you enter the outer courtyard you notice another doorway to the inner Holy courtyard where stands the Holy Alter, directly behind the Alter is the doorway of the Holy Temple, as you enter you notice two Menorah at the end of the Holy Hall, you continue straight passing between the two menorahs, you enter the Holies, and just beyond the Holies lies the Holy of Holies, you enter and you see the Holy Ark – with Two Holy Childlike Cherubim looking at each other – you go towards the Ark

Standing in the Holy of Holies – the Rabbis claim that a magnificent and wonderful miracle took place – If you’d take your handy ruler out of your pocket and measure the Actual diameters of the Ark it would be 1 and a half X 2 and a half Ama’s. In a square room 20 X 20 Amas.

However if you measured from one side of the Ark to the wall it was 10 Amas and if you measured the distance from the other side of the Ark to the wall it was also 10 Amas! Whatever side of the Ark you measured from it still only measured 10 Amas! – This means that the Ark could be measured but at the same time could not be measured – it took up space but did not take up any space! ‘To Be & Not To Be!” –

This is the Miracle that took place within the Holy of Holies! – the Holiest place on earth – the centre of all Jewish religious life – the centre of all communication between God and Humanity for over 8 hundred years – while the Temples stood – the focus of much of Judaism’s religious devotion is focused on Jerusalem the Temple and ultimately the Holy of Holies.

But what does this miracle teach us about Judaism? About ourselves? About the Nature of the Universe? – About the Nature of God?

The ultimate revelation of God on earth – took up space and did not take up any space – it is a rip in the ‘space time continuum’ a porthole to the Infinite – to the spiritual – a revelation of the true nature of Reality – the Quantum nature of Reality, and perhaps even the miraculous nature of all Reality.

The bible states “Make for Me a Temple and I will dwell within them” – Exodus 25:8

The peculiar nature of this seemingly grammatically incongruent sentence in truth reflects a deep spiritual truth that if we create the space then God presence will reside within each of us.

Kabbalah teaches that each and every one of us should see ourselves as a minute Temple – and that within each of us we have a Holy of Holies, and that our very being is tied up with the essence of pure divinity – we not only have a spark of God within us – but this Holy of Holies is by its very nature miraculous in nature.

Let’s investigate this slightly further – What does it mean to both exist and not exist at the same time? To take up space and not to take up space?

To be an Ego and at the same time to let go of that Ego – to always be fluctuating between your own self centeredness and absolute selflessness ?

On a Cosmic scale – the miracle in the Holy of Holies teaches us that although we may be able to measure our lives – and we may hold on dearly to them – but in the bigger picture of things – we are merely a minute point – and virtually non existent.

It is a humbling realisation to look out in to a clear night sky and realise how small we all really are – or to think about the vastness of the Universe compared to our limited being – to think about the journey of time compared to our the span of our lives – and that in the bigger picture we may not be all that important. – and definitely not as important as we quite often feel.

(In our temple it is up to us what sacrifices we bring – we offer up – )

On a personal scale: It means that you accept yourself (Since the Ark is Holy and it can be measured) – but you also have room for others (it doesn’t take up any room in relation to others) – it means that you love yourself but you trust Life, God and the Unfolding of the Universe – It means that you trust yourself but that you are willing to concede that you may be wrong – and that you have room and internal space for others – in your life –

Deep within the depths of each of our hearts – deep within the depths of every human being – is a door – to the Infinite to the Transcendent – to the Essence of God – the Universe & Reality.

If we can realise this in our lives – then they become a vehicle for Holiness. Our lives and our very beings become the dwelling place of peace a dwelling place and manifestation of God in this world.

So that we too become the Holy Temple – and our being becomes a Holy as the Holy of Holies.

Look, whatever the meaning of life really is, or whatever suffering there is in the world or thus far in your life, it’s not gonna hurt you if you learn to smile, smell the flowers and force yourself to discover a big dollop of joy, happiness in your life, is it?

So the wise Urban Gurus teach us a great lesson, no matter what your situation, if you want it, and will to, it is going to get better, and the best and almost guaranteed way to create the future outcome you desire is to start to celebrate the positive outcome in this very moment, even before it has happened.

So in the case of your personal redemption, don’t just feel content to imagine what it might be like if you lived the life of your dreams, but celebrate them as though they had already happened.

Crazy as that may sound, and at times even crazier to carry out, make a party to celebrate your future success, to celebrate your future happiness, dance celebrate and be thankful.

There are even some special and magic dances that can help you draw out and get in touch with the universal divine energy but the main thing are not the moves but the rhythm! Life is one big dance, sometimes its classy sometimes, its just down and dirty, up you get to dance, you got you move, to the rhythm of life.

Dance can set you free, and can, actually help to trigger a state of personal redemption. This in turn can trigger the redemption of all humankind.  The super awesome Urban Gurus would say ‘if we only knew how close the universal redemption was we would be dancing in the streets’.

idea is to dance, to celebrate the manifestation of a positive and brighter future, creating that future in our minds and hearts, but allowing the infinite joy within our souls to pour out through our feet in dance.

The Jedi warriors know that they must listen to the Force, they must tap into the underlying unity of the universe, opening their consciousness to the life force within everything, the bubbling and pulsating force of the universe which brings it into being and nurtures all life.

In ancient Hebrew the expression ‘Life force of the worlds’ (Chai Ha Olamim), the word for ‘Life Force’ is singular – this means that no matter how many worlds, whether animal, vegetable or mineral, whether, spiritual, quantum, Newtonian or human, the ‘Life Force’ which permeates and sustains them all is One and absolutely singular in nature.

The great Urban Gurus open their eyes to the Chai seeing millions of little angles hammering down blades of grass as they apparently ‘blow in the wind’.

Attuning themselves to the force of life as it is found within their own being, seeing and listening to the magical presence of Chai within their own bodies. They learn to listen deeply, discovering the languages of the birds and the songs of the rivers.

Every moment is the most intelligent and supreme dance of the life force. Skipping as it runs back and forth, in and out of existence, moving to a beat so compelling that it you have no choice but to join in, and as you do it lifts you up and out of the confines of your self – beyond the edges of your dreams and spins you around, landing you happily in the spot you began, but now instead of standing you are dancing.

As you become aware of the Chai within your own body you will soon become aware of the Life Force of the Universe itself and as you learn to dance the Chai dances with you, and if you’re any good and come up with a few new moves the Chai will follow your lead, bringing additional life force through your veins and to the world immediately around you.

Madonna has been throwing out all of Guy Richie’s stuff in an attempt to erase his memory from her life.

Now although this is an understandable and very human reaction to the pain, hurt and anger of the end of a relationship, this is only a stepping-stone to moving on.

There is an ancient story about the Israelites leaving Egypt, they were being chased by the Egyptian Army, when they got to the Red Sea and could go no further and didn’t know what to do.

There were five different opinions.

1.    Suicide
2.    Going back to be slaves
3.    Fight the Egyptians
4.    Pray and Asking for help
5.    Moving on – even though it seemed impossible

You can see these as different reactions to immensely difficult situations, or you can see them as different stages in a process of healing and moving on.

When a for whatever reason serious relationship ends, well can all have similar reactions, we can although many people don’t admit it, feel that life isn’t worth living.

We can wish that nothing had happened, perhaps we can fix the relationship and that it would all magically go back the way it was before the break-up?

We can fight and be angry with the other person and with ourselves, we can wish to destroy our ex-partners and erase them from our lives and our history.

But that doesn’t work either, because all that emotional energy is still directed at the past, at the person you’ve been hurt by, but the things in your life that make you feel angry and upset.

Chucking your ex’s stuff out of the window, may be somewhat therapeutic, but it doesn’t resolve the situation, and it doesn’t resolve the underlying feelings of pain and anguish.

You have to dig deeper within yourself and learn to let go of all that negative emotional stuff in a way that is safe and constructive.

Go speak to someone, a counsellor, God, a friend, physiotherapist, life coach, mentor or anyone or anything you trust and believe in.

They may not have any answers for you, and they may not have any advice, but they are there for you in your hour of need, they listen, they empathise and help you to resolve the crisis within yourself, so that you can begin to let go of the pain, and let go of the past and let go of the person you’ve been in a relationship with.

But ultimately we all need to stop getting advice or praying and meditating and move forward toward a happier and brighter future.

The secret of moving forwards is having a positive vision of your future, and having the courage to embrace the happier person you are destined to become.

Sometimes life doesn’t give you time to think, to theorise, to philosophise, to ponder and wonder, what the deeper meanings are.

As a self-proclaimed “Urban Guru” i find this non-thinking type of service, slightly challenging, but that’s because i think too much, and God/ the Universe and everything is telling me to just stop!

Not that there is anything wrong with thinking, but there is a time and place and right now is neither of them.

But some people spend their entire lives just doing, running around and not thinking at all! – This isn’t where it’s at either -

The point is to be fluid and flexible, to relax and trust, to think and to feel to live and to act.

Avoidance is the sin of a lifetime, if you are avoiding what you are meant to be doing with your life at any given time, you’ll struggle, struggle with your self and the universe will struggle with you.

If you struggle then by definition you’re not – being fluid, flexible, relaxed or trusting.

So as a not so famous biblical story goes when, God told Abraham to leave his homeland and everything he knew, God said: “Lech Lecha!” – Leave yourself (behind).

Let go of your preconceived notions of who you think or believe you are, relax, trust your instincts and just let go!

Had a real [experiential] (almost life altering) epiphany the other day.

All i did was add a prefix to every thing i thought about touched, felt experienced

the prefix was ‘divine’

and my divine-hand divinely-touched the divine-touch brush … etc… this almost joking play continued for a few minutes, and then it dawned on me, and i was stuck naked, in divine awe of; the divine i was in – the divine i am – the divine created illusion that we are journeying in and i both cried and laughed at the same time – the light was blinding.

Like a rabbit in front of oncoming headlights, I froze, grateful, humbled, unable to move, aware of being in the presence of the divine, that every moment a huge amount of energy was being provided to recreate every moment, a huge amount of love and patience. But that the divine, was not out there somewhere in some alternate (higher) consciousness, but right here, right now.

This was not like my previous ‘mystical’ experiences of loosing myself in the ONE, or the dissolving of self in the oneness of the universe. Here I was stuck in self but realising that everything, including my ‘self’ was actually divine.

The story goes something like this, a guy is drowning in the ocean and he prays to God to save him, a big piece of drift wood floats by, but he ignores it, knowing that God will answer his prayers, a guy in a small dingy offers him a lift, and eventually a helicopter comes to rescue him, but he refuses saying that he’s waiting for God to save him. He drowns. And when he comes before his maker, he asks God why he didn’t save him? God says, “What do you think all those opportunities I sent you were?”

I’ve always been the ‘lucky guy’, maybe not actually being the winning holder of that many lottery tickets, but in life, the good stuff seems to come my way.

The truth is that people and impressive opportunities are always knocking at my door, phoning me up or emailing me. The thing is, I kinda expect them, and when they come, I’m pretty chilled about them.

For example, over a year ago a TV producer was planning to pitch a cool new Urban Guru lifestyle makeover programme to the BBC, and we spoke for about an hour, and then he never got back to me. I was fast asleep when he called and asked to speak to the Urban Guru, so when we were chatting I completely forgot to ask for his contact details, and because I had previously fantasised about having my own prime-time TV programme, I just believed that it would happen to me.

A production company working for MTV called me the other day, but it’s just not worked out.

So good opportunities happen but for some reason they often don’t seem to follow through. And this has been something that has been bothering me but I just didn’t know who to ask about it.

Then about two months ago, I was in the Northern Quarter of Manchester doing some flyering for the Mind Body Spirit festival, when I randomly bumped into a young lady doing flyering for her own Holistic Massage business.

We got chatting, she shared some Blue-Tack, and then while we were giving some leaflets to the Buddhist Centre, the CEO of the Mind Body Spirit festival called to find out if I knew anyone that could do Holistic Massage at the festival, because someone had dropped out, and he wanted someone to fill in, on a percentage of their profits basis.

This was some cool divine providence going on, and how cool was that, I was being used as a messenger and channel for giving this girl a fantastic opportunity for her business.

But two weeks went by and she didn’t phone or get in touch with the festivals CEO, and guess what? He’d filled it with someone else.

The moral of this story, which I experienced first hand, was telling me something completely relevant and profound about my own problem.

Opportunities come knocking all the time, don’t let them pass you by, grab them by the horns and really go for them!

God is giving you fantastic opportunities all the time, your job is to take hold of those opportunities run with them.

If you’re alive and if you’ve ever taken a moment to think about the big questions, then you’ll probably admit that life is a little bit crazy.
After years of pondering this and other important questions, i’ve had one or two fairly cheesy but profound realisations:

Each and everyone of us has to activate a feeling of love within us and in every moment in life we are given new and different opportunities to love.

To love the people in our lives, including ourselves, to love the beings in our lives, to love the stuff in our lives and to love our lives.

The kind of love that I’m talking about isn’t theoretical or a general ‘isn’t everybody lovely’ fluffy feeling. What I’m referring to is a real, deep love, that is the kind of love we have for a child, or a sibling or a parent or a spouse.

Obviously all of those types of love are slightly different, but the feeling, the feeling of love is the same. I’m suggesting that we foster and nurture that feeling of love within ourselves and that we actively allow that energy to flow to the world and people around us.

Thus we transform ourselves and we transform the world.

In a place were there is love all are happy and at peace.

Top five ways to tell your partner is angry:

1, Not talking.
2, Avoiding eye contact.
3, Avoiding touching you.
4, Slamming doors.
5, Doing things to upset you or provoke an emotional response from you.

But once you have noticed an icy stare, what can you do to smooth things over? Max says that solutions to the problem are pretty simple, but require you to swallow your pride.

Here as his top five tips:

1, Apologise.
2, Let go of your own ego and back down.
3, Remember that the relationship is bigger than the thing you are arguing about.
4, Offer to talk about what you have done wrong.
5, Don’t buy gifts… your partner may think you don’t understand their anger.

________________________

Originally on Smooth Radio Online 

One of the most important theologically charged statements in the Bible, which is recited perhaps 4-5 times a day by the Observant Jews is the ‘Shema’.

the first word of the Shema – is the word Shema – and it simply means LISTEN!!!

It itself is a profoundly important and potentially life altering message from the author of the Bible – Moses – God etc..

The primary theological step we are compelled by the Shema is to learn how to listen.

(Loosely paraphrasing the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe:) ‘Listening means having room in oneself for another, for Other, internal; mental, emotional and spiritual space for the existence of another being and another opinion, even one that is completely different to your own.’

The ‘Ethics of our Fathers’ teaches us ‘who is wise those that learn from everyone’.

Then they go on to say that anyone you learn from you must treat them with the same respect that you would the Divine Presence!

The point is, each and every human being has something to say about theology, and Jews, by virtue of their ontologically divine nature (according to the Alter Rebbe – every Jew is a part of God [although God doesn’t have parts]) have something to say about Jewish theology no matter their religious affiliation, level of intellectual honesty or otherwise.