Urban Guru your inspired guide to urban living

Stop running Way From Yourself !

I’ve always been puzzled by young, intelligent, movers and shakers in the Jewish community upping and moving to Israel, it seems so dualistic, and short sighted.

The primary motive they cite is that they don’t feel comfortable in the Diaspora and that they feel really Jewish in the Land of Israel even if they don’t keep any of the religious laws etc… What’s up with that?

Surely if you were more comfortable with your own identity why would you need to move to a country with millions of other people just like you? If your cultural identity is so important, why don’t you do something about it here and now? Why do you think that nationalism or in deed a ‘Holy land’ – where you can be yourself is really going to solve your deep problems?

The question isn’t just about Jews and Israel, its about all of us, why do we think that over there, in some distant future things are going to be ok, if I only had this or that, that then

I’d be happy? If I lived in a big house, or a small house, drove this car, or had that job, money, if I only had a boyfriend of girlfriend, a cat or a baby then all my troubles would be over?

In the messianic era the kabbalists teach us that the Holiness of the Holy of Holies will spread to the whole of the temple mount, that the Holiness of the Temple will encompass the Whole of Jerusalem, the Holiness of Jerusalem will spread to the entire biblical land of Israel and the Holiness of the Holy Land will spread throughout the entire world.

The Whole world will become as Holy as the Holy land.

Some great Kabbalists go further – they claim that the holiness of the Holy of Holies will in fact be accessible to each and every individual that the land we are standing on might be ‘Israel’ but we are in deed the Holy of Holies.

What i’m saying is that, happiness is not found outside of yourself. If you push off, happiness and bliss to some future time, you are destined always to be unhappy and miserable.

Also that the Messianic Era is here and now, it is a state of mind a state of enlightened being, one that is accessible now.

That running towards a better future, doesn’t always work, ‘progress’ is sometimes fuelled by stupidity, greed and emptiness.

Real spiritual, and personal progress comes from a place of contentment, happiness and a desire to spread that around.

Can you see the difference?

We are sleeping giants,

Formed from dust by the great sky,

Our souls are more powerful than angels,

Our bodies shine brighter than the sun,

Our dreams now our destiny!

The Secrets of Bilateral Seduction

In the normal course of events if you fancy someone of the opposite sex, or the same sex for that matter, you’re less likely to be yourself and act normally. Yet this abnormal behaviour on your part is precisely what is most likely to put the other person off.

You see that in the slip moment when you see that attractive person across the room there are a million bits of information running around your head and before you’ve even blinked you’ve put yourself in our out of their league.

You see, when you see someone that you find attractive, you subconsciously rate him or her and then also rate yourself. You normally give them a higher rating than yourself; you might give them a 9/10 and give yourself a 6/10.

And this is where the problem lies; if you fancy them and don’t rate yourself very highly, you’re likely to behave in a way that is either slightly desperate or a little bit shy.

Slightly Desperate: could mean that you use corny chat up lines, or beg them to let you buy them a drink, or are just a little creepy or down right in their face and pushy.

Shy: means that you don’t even get around to opening your mouth to say hello.

Now Slightly Desperate is marginally better than Shy, because you’ve jumped over that gap between you and the person you fancy and you’ve made some-kind of attempt at communicating.

But Bilateral Seduction approaches the situation completely differently.

The problem starts at the very beginning, you rate yourself in comparison to other people and most importantly to the person you fancy.

And the point is that if you rate the other person significantly above yourself then you’re more likely to act stupid and stop just being your normal and fantastic self.

So what I’m suggesting is this, learn to rate yourself higher.

That is you first need to find yourself attractive, to become attractive and sexy in your own estimation.

Now obviously there is a difference between arrogance and confidence but it is a subtle although profound one. But not something we need to talk about at this point.

If you increase your own feelings of attractiveness you change the balance of power, between you and the person that you fancy. Instead of you chasing after them in a desperate and slightly embarrassing series of self-fladulating Mr Bean impressions, you become the seductive Casanova, passionate, interesting, exciting and really fanciable person that the other person wants to get to know (in the biblical sense of course).

Classic Cartesian views of reality have fallen away from my sight, effervescent, oscillating glittering fireworks of divine energy pulsating so fast that, it appears to be joined up,

each gap in the in-between of coming into existence from the source of nothingness, seems to be longer than the next, where the possibility of falling through the silence between frames seems all the more possible.

who brings every minuscule of existence into being in complex shapes and constructs? into existence every moment. we do. the very essence of being co-directing my own ‘reality’ every moment from the absolute blank nothingness of pre-existent reality (gOD),

I choose to remember, to perceive, to be the person’ality that i seem to be, moments are disjointed, the force which brings into being, literally ‘creates’ existence, my existence, is my true self, not me, but me, us, you, I, my me, your you.

Our culturally conditioned worldview is merely a shell, a shallow wrapping, which simplifies, sterilises, contaminates the eyes that see. I have chosen to come into existence, to flesh myself, to become body, to embody, to flesh out my dreams, our dream, to explore, and discover who I am.

I am the great unknown. the thick darkness that separates you from me, me from me. The great unknown that will always remain so utterly hidden that we never become aware of it’s existence, it is the unknown that fills the in-betweens, each dot of energy, from between this point and that, the silence between notes.

It is the thickness of unknowing that keeps us apart, that keeps us happy in our bliss, our everydayness, in the lightness of being.

spiritual - means beyond time and space - and what we normally see as physical, isn’t actually physical it is in fact beyond time and space, by virtue of its (multiple) quantum oscillating core. It comes in and out of existence 10×26 per second.

So you’ve just got to find out what’s going on in the world, you’ve got to know the latest news, current affairs, the celebrity gossip, the weather, you’ve got to know about what’s going on locally, regionally, nationally and internationally.

You’ve got to feed your hunger for information, to quickly absorb the exact information from the news source that reflects your concerns, hopes and aspirations.

So some people read the broadsheets, others the tabloids, listen to the radio, watch the television, download the lasted news feed to their phone, check out the news on their favourite news website. Then not only do we know what’s going on in the world, we’ve also got something to talk about to our friends and associates during the day. Not only is it important to get this information as often as possible but we also need updates about developing stories. So the news media saturates ours lives with information, views and oppinion.

But wait just a minuet, have you ever stopped to think about the impact of this information on your general quality of life?

Quality of Life? What has me reading the news got to do with my quality of life? you might ask?

My quality of life is influenced but my income, by the area I live in, by the job that I have, by my health, my wealth, my primary relationship, by lots of other economic factors that I have little control over.
And all of this may be true, but you’ve missed out one major factor which is the most important, influential and obvious thing which has the most impact on our everyday quality of life, and that is our attitude, perception and focus.

Now as if life in the fast lane wasn’t stressful enough you go and fill you mind with even more negative, stress inducing new information that has very little actual relevance to you day to day running of your life.
Imagine just for a second that the information you got the news media every hour during the day, was really positive and inspiring stuff?

But it’s not, it’s all very negative, emotionally grabbing, worrying, powerful information that tells you generally that; the world is going to the dogs and that locally based international terrorists are about to tax you and brake into your house with knives, kill you and trigger global warming / economic meltdown armogedan and there’s nothing you can do about it.

And if you’re lucky enough not to read or hear about that kind of stuff, the more intelligent media opinions and commentary are all geared and slanted towards being critical, deriding and very cynical and they do this in a way that seems to be an adequate replacement for humour!?!!

OK so I’ve complained enough about the news, but what I am saying? What is my solution to this cascade of negativity that I believe is ruining your quality of life?

It’s a simple two step process:

1. Stop! - Avoid negativity

2. Be positive! - Fill your life with goodness!

Just imagine that you replaced all that millions of bits of negative information with millions of bits of inspiring, wise, positive, happy, hopeful, optimistic, life-affirming information, every day morning and evening, every hour on the hour, on the radio, tv, phone and computer?!!

Just imagine the impact on the real quality of your life of feeding yourself huge amounts of positively saturated information, of filling your mind with happy and inspiring thoughts about how lucky you are and how your life is fantastic and getting even better!?

Do it today! Choose and filter the information that you consume, fill your life with good news, with ideas that inspire you, talk about amazing stuff, about happy stuff, about good stuff.

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Confidence, for people who haven’t been working out - still; feel great even though you’re not in the greatest of shape.

So you haven’t been working out, you’ve not been eating much more healthily in the run up to that all important summer ‘social catwalk’ by the pool, you haven’t got around to doing what you kept on promising yourself you’d do, but now it’s probably all too late and there’s not much point trying to kid yourself that by drinking a diet-Coke is going to make any difference what-so-ever to your now ever so slightly bulging belly. So what are you going to do?

Breathe in, and think and feel gorgeous! No seriously, loathing your body isn’t going to do you any justice, it’s not going to help you feel sexy and it’s not going to help you find any summer romance. The Answer is to embrace you booty! Take possession of your whole body and accept it as it is, right now! Say to yourself, I am gorgeous and sexy just as I am.

Stress at work has a real negative effect on your long-term health and wellbeing, pumping adrenalin around your body, causing increased blood pressure, shutting down your digestive system and stopping you’re higher brain function from functioning.

Stress was our ancestors’ way of staying alive, they needed it to fight or run from dangerous situations, nowadays we mistakenly see our boss or upcoming deadline, as the sabre-toothed tiger.

The answer is to recognise that is your perception of what is, or is not stressful, which triggers your response. Simply make a conscious choice to see your job not as a matter of life or death, but for what it is, just a job.

Focus your attention on your right foot, tense your foot for 10 to 15 seconds and then relax, do the same with your lower leg, tense it and relax it, then your thigh, do the same with your left leg, continue tensing and relaxing every part of your body: your buttocks, lower back, belly, chest, hands, arms, shoulders, neck and even your face. Now focus your attention on the top of your head, feel how relaxed it is and allow that feeling of relaxation to cascade throughout your entire body.

Blessings are metered by OUR ability to receive, not the Universes ability to give. It’s almost like, the Universe would like to give us everything but it is us that says no.

In some sense, as a friend suggested, sometimes it’s our ‘personality’ which gets in the way of blessings. And that sometimes we need to let go of our selves, put our sense of ‘Self’ to one side to simply allow God’s blessings into our lives.

Some say that we have to make a “vessel” a way and a path, for the Universe to bless us. But I believe, more important than the creation of a mere ‘vessel’ or conduit of divine blessing, we ourselves, must become spiritually able and willing to receive blessing into our hearts and into our lives.

The questions we are forced to ask are; are we open enough, receptive enough, willing enough to allow the divine to give us everything and more? Are we ready to accept bliss into our every moment of our lives?!!!?

Say to yourself; “I’m sorry for having previously been a barrier to receiving blessings, I forgive you for the past, I now allow you to accept all blessings into your heart with joy and love. I allow the source of all blessings to flow through me, so that peace is my very being and the abundance of blessing my inheritance!”

Escape from the city, and from the humdrum and stresses of everyday life…

Sometimes we all need to escape from the din of city living, step outside of our everyday selves and reassess the way we live, to help us gain new and different perspective on our lives.

Our Weekend ‘Shabbaton’ Urban Guru Retreat is the perfect time and place to do this as it’s entirely dedicated to your personal spiritual growth and development. It is an ideal chance to breathe and focus on becoming more relaxed, spiritualy centred and balanced. It is an opportunity to reassess your life, discover your souls path, and a chance to focus on cultivating your own happiness, inner joy and peace of mind. So when you do return to your life you can begin to live it on a higher plane, were you can be more focussed, calm, and alive.

Urban Guru Retreats, usually take place over a weekend (or Shabbaton) Friday - Sunday, in a converted farm near Buxton in the Peak Park UK. They are very laid back and relaxing, the weekend is a mixture of lectures and workshops, focusing on wide variety of themes.

This included workshops in various forms of Kabbalistic meditation, from the early Merkvah school - to modern day forms of Hassidic consciousness expanding techniques.

The themes of the lectures vary - and they can focus on that weeks Torah reading - although not always so. We try to keep some semblance of a traditional Shabath from Friday to Saturday night although we are not dogmatic about it.

As participants are asked to refrain from using there mobile phones throughout their time at the retreat etc…There are group activities and ‘prayer’ workshops, as well as one on one learning and mentoring.

All the activities are completely voluntary… if someone doesn’t wish to participate and even just spend the entire weekend in their room that’s fine - if that is what they need to do.

The food is Kosher* and Vegetarian and were possible locally produced and/or organic. It is generally for small groups with a maximum of 12 people.

I got chatting to the ex-nun that lives next door (as you do) about the benefits of going to confession. And although I’m not Catholic by any stretch of the cosmic canvas (not even in previous incarnations it seems) I was still attracted to the idea of coming clean about who you really are, exposing your darkest and deepest thoughts and issues, to someone that isn’t gonna tell your mum or dad, or broadcast it on national TV.

That’s probably why counselling and psychotherapy was invented, to give us non-Catholics a little bit of a chance of getting into heaven, or at least sorting our own shite out before we die?

And it got me thinking about how we all see ourselves, am I a sinner or am I righteous?

I know that for the most part, most people think that they are right, correct and that everything they do, everything that we do is justified.

However, on a deeper level many people don’t seem to be truly happy, deep down they don’t feel righteous, but probably consider themselves bad, wrong, stupid, dumb, fat, ugly, sinners.

Not that everyone has a Catholic soul and should feel like a big bad sinner, but from a more humanistic perspective each of us is in some way guilty of at least one sin, the sin of not truly fulfilling our innate divine potential. We are guilty of not living our dreams, of not trusting life, of ultimately letting ourselves down.

The bible says that Noah, (the guy with the boat and the animals, “2 by 2”) was ‘righteous in his own generation’, (cite) which seems to imply that his ‘righteousness’ was a ‘relative’ rather than an ‘absolute’, righteous-dudeness.

Which leads me to this; most people’s conscious mind, for the most part, thinks they’re right and justified. Their unconscious mind however knows the truth.

Heartfelt confession or being truly honest with yourself brings the two minds together, the unconscious mind teaches the conscious mind what the true situation is.

As my spiritual teacher once wrote, ‘the heart is the portal to the transcendent’ it is through our heart, that we are able to be honest, to marry our deepest part of ourselves with our everyday state of mind.

And it is in that union that we learn that, if we listened more closely to our true inner voice, we would make better choices in our lives, we would become righteous in the deepest resources of our very being.

So that unlike Noah we can strive to become more than just righteous in comparison to the generation, culture and society we live in, that is ‘righteous in his generation’ but on some much more profound and substantial level that we actually become beautiful through and through.

It is my wish that this inner beauty and righteousness become manifest within you, because it is who you are already righteous and beautiful, but nobody told you.

Life can sometimes present us with lots of different challenges, they are of course, all there to help us grow and become deeper and better people because of them.

But I believe that it is our resistance to, what is, to the unfolding of life, the universe and everything, to the day-to-day stuff that happens in our life, it is that friction which ultimately wears us down.

I don’t mean always being an easy pushover on every occasion, because indeed, sometimes Life wants us to rise to the challenge, speak up, act and react, out of pure righteous indignation.

But often it is the less important elements of life that we get caught up with, the daily stresses that gently grinds us down until we fall to pieces.

It is these daily recurrent events, stresses, feelings and thoughts that I’m suggesting we stop and let go of.

I believe, not based on too much fuzzy new-age science, but from watching myself, that it is our resistance to life, the everyday resistance, our feelings of dislike, being upset about whatever it may be that actually ages us, both emotionally and physically.

So if and when you notice yourself becoming tense, or feeling even the slightest bit cross, let it go! Stop resisting, just relax, and allow whatever is, to be.

What does that mean?

It means that when you notice yourself resisting life, before you even make yourself ill, stressed or upset, just let it go.

Learn to recognise that your default mode is one of tranquillity and warm quiet inner stillness and peace.

Everything that moves your attention away from that sense of calm is a distraction; it is a form of mild idolatry.

Your task then is to focus your attention on that river of peace that runs through your veins.

There’s a telling Italian saying: “When the wine goes in, the secrets come out!’ and another one that goes something like: “You can’t have a full bottle of wine AND a drunk wife!” But I’m not sure which one is more accurate?

A relatively modern school of mysticism (a subtle reference to the Urban Guru and mates) believe that being slightly inebriated is actually a vehicle for self-discovery and enlightenment. Of course, when you see the entire world, as an ongoing form of Group Therapy, everything, even being paralytic once in a while, is part of the ‘healing’ process.

The amazing thing is about being off-your-face is that it’s not an intellectual exercise, it is an experiential experience!

You’ve got an excuse to let go and be yourself completely, without guilt or any form of societal repression, judgement or shame. Getting drunk reveals who you really are underneath the cosy façade of ‘normality’. But because we often aren’t really in touch with our inner selves or with our true feelings, stuff comes out that we choose to blank out and would rather forget.

But if we go beyond that juvenile form of emotional therapy and embraces the deeper lesson that this ancient liquid intelligence is teaching us, we will soon learn that; 1. Being drunk is ultimately a state of mind. 2. Us being ourselves fully and completely is actually a good thing. 3. Many of societies inhibitions and cultural norms are inventions of deeply unhappy people. 4. You do actually love everyone. 5. You’ve just not realised how sexy and beautiful almost everyone is!

“I’m praying for rain in California, So the grapes can grow and they can make more wine!”

Get in touch with your inner-drunk and tell everyone you love them!

Focused Breathing - in this exercise - you quietly focus on your in and out breath - the feeling a sensation of your breathe in and out of your lungs - feel your abdomen rise and fall -

start to focus on your breathing

breathing in through your nose

and out

breathing is calming

it is soothing

breathe slowly and calmly

allow all the stress in your body to be realest

fill your lungs with fresh calming air

if you do this for long enough and without hyper-ventilating

you soon will become - completely calm
and imagine that on each in breath you breathe in peace

and one each out breath you breath out tension and stress

imagine ath on each in breath you breath in peace - love and joy - see (in your minds eye)

a white clear light filling your lungs and entire being -
breath out stress, anger and frustration - and see in your minds eye - you breathing out dark fumes
do this until there are not too many fumes to breath out
then when you breath in light -peace and joy - you then begin to breath out light peace and joy

and when you slowly allow the calm air to leave your lungs

you start to fill the world around you with calming energy

you become a calmer person

a messenger of calmness and of peace

you can do anything and achieve anything - when you are calm

and being calm is your true and natural state

anything that interferes with that state of total calmness is a form of idolatryso just relax, think good and everything is gonna be alright

and breathe

PEACE

Conflict or anykind cannot be resolved by more conflict,

Anti-war marchs just increase war,

Boycots just add spritual fuel to the problem

I’d just learn to focus

To breathe,

to spend time developing a mediative practice

even if it’s for a few mins a day

Breathing in and out

saying words like, Love, Peace, Relax, Calm, Bliss, Happiness, God, Divine, Tranquility, etc…

to yourself quietly.

Imagine a bright white healing light entering your lungs, filling your entire being with love and bliss,

see yourself as a being of calm healing light

a supernova of divine energy

smile inwardly to yourself,

say I allow myself the chance to be free, to be truly free,

happiness is my birthright, etc…

become the sourse of love, peace and blessings in your own life

don’t worry about office conflicts

if you can rediscover peace within yourself - the entire world will stop fighting

within you is the divine, the power to change, the power to create, to influence, to manifest your dreams

make sure your dreams are hopefilled and love filled.

wishing you much love
the Urban Guru

If you find yourself doing the same thing over and over, without variety, whether it’s staying late at work, getting angry in traffic, watching TV, surfing the internet (on whatever your favourite site is at the moment), then you need to STOP!

You see being furry little animals we like the little things that give us pleasure to continue to give us pleasure.

Sometimes this is called an addiction.

You see, it’s easy to get addicted to anything, getting addicted to being stressed, or anxiety, or moody, or exercise, or food, going out and getting drunk, staying home and doing nothing, etc… etc… it’s easy to get addicted to the emotions we feel, the thoughts we think and the stuff we do.

And it’s all because we get pleasure from doing all these things, yes we even get pleasure from things that aren’t good for us.

We feel stress and we release adrenalin into our bloodstream and over time we become addicted to it, and we create situations in our lives that create more stress and more adrenalin. But it’s not just stress, there are millions of combinations of ‘class A’ drugs running around in your body that you could get addicted to and that we ultimately get pleasure from.

In fact much of who you think you are i.e. your ‘personality’ is probably just a long series of different internal drug addictions you have and that you continue to feed.

Your life; just an extension of your addictive need to feed your habit.

Your lifestyle just a way of making sure you get your fix.

How can you tell an addict from a healthy human being?

Simply, an addict only gets real pleasure from a small and limited number of places.

So that could be food, alcohol, gambling, sex, shopping, sugar, drugs, the internet, Playstation, power, smoking, exercise, pornography, money, caffeine, junk food, stress, bad relationships… the list goes on, but it’s usually either exclusively or from a very limited number of these or other vices.

But also that pleasure makes you feel bad, sad or guilty for feeling it.

But the problem is not that we get pleasure from things, but that we limit the sources of our pleasure.

Anyways you bunch of drug addicts – yes you are a drug addict! (don’t you know that denial is the first sign of an addiction?) - there is help.

Increase and vary the number of places that you get pleasure from.

You might want to start with focusing on your five/six senses and on a Sunday focus your attention and get pleasure from your sense of smell, Monday could be sound, Tuesday touch, Wednesday sight, Thursday taste, Friday balance, Saturday all of the above.

Or you could start changing things – like instead of continuing to look at this website – you might turn your computer off and clean your house, or go for a walk, or speak to a friend, or anything that is completely different to what you might have been planning, left to your own devises.

Go on then, why are you still reading this gibberish? Go on get out of here! HAVE FUN!

You are the wealthiest person in the world
You are the most successful person in the world
You are the most affluent person in the world
You are the most prosperous person in the world

You are the most accomplished person in the world
You are the most talented person in the world
You are the most gifted person in the world
You are the most intelligent person in the world
You are the most balanced person in the world
You are the most well adjusted person in the world
You are the most harmonious person in the world

You are the most powerful person in the world
You are the most influential person in the world
You are the most potent person in the world
You are the most vital person in the world
You are the most important person in the world
You are the most determined person in the world
You are the most resolute person in the world

You are the most protected person in the world
You are the most privileged person in the world
You are the luckiest person in the world
You are the most fortunate person in the world
You are the most blessed person in the world

You are the most delightful person in the world
You are the most charming person in the world
You are the most charismatic person in the world
You are the most magnetic person in the world
You are the most enigmatic person in the world
You are the most captivating person in the world
You are the most enchanting person in the world

You are the most intoxicating person in the world
You are the most stimulating person in the world
You are the most alluring person in the world
You are the sexiest person in the world
You are the most delicious person in the world
You are the most attractive person in the world
You are the most beautiful person in the world
You are the most gorgeous person in the world
You are the loveliest person in the world
You are the most loveable person in the world
You are the most loved person in the world

You are the most content person in the world
You are the most satisfied person in the world
You are the most fulfilled person in the world
You are the most comfortable person in the world
You are the most secure person in the world
You are the most perfect person in the world
You are the most complete person in the world
You are the most whole person in the world
You are the most wholesome person in the world

You are the healthiest person in the world

You are the happiest person in the world
You are the friendliest person in the world
You are the most approachable person in the world
You are the most decent person in the world
You are the most sociable person in the world
You are the most responsive person in the world
You are the most welcoming person in the world
You are the most approachable person in the world
You are the most encouraging person in the world
You are the most helpful person in the world
You are the most enjoyable person to be with in the world
You are the most accommodating person in the world
You are the most accepting person in the world

You are the most cheerful person in the world
You are the most positive person in the world
You are the most joyful person in the world
You are the most grateful person in the world
You are the most gracious person in the world
You are the most pleasant person in the world

You are the calmest person in the world
You are the most relaxed person in the world
You are the most chilled person in the world
You are the smoothest person in the world
You are the most flexible person in the world
You are the most adaptable person in the world
You are the most tranquil person in the world

You are the most enlightened person in the world
You are the most blissful person in the world
You are the most inspired person in the world
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You are the most inspirational person in the world

You are the most aware person in the world
You are the most conscious person in the world
You are the most mindful person in the world
You are the most humble person in the world
You are the most gracious person in the world
You are the most at ease person in the world
You are the most serene person in the world
You are the most effortless person in the world
You are the most confident person in the world
You are the most restful person in the world
You are the most peaceful person in the world

You are the most wonderful person in the world
You are the brightest person in the world
You are the most brilliant person in the world
You are the most luminous person in the world
You are the most radiant person in the world
You are the most dazzling person in the world
You are the most stunning person in the world
You are the most resplendent person in the world
You are the most glorious person in the world
You are the most magnificent person in the world

You are a tidal wave of change
You are a catalyst for positivity
You are the axis on which the universe spins
You are the creator of your own existence
You are who you want to be

It used to be that sometime between 40 and 55 many people would have midlife crisis. Some would find themselves buying flash sports cars, having a fling, getting divorced, all in order to get them through this difficult period in their lives.

But today the quarter life crisis is more and more common. As a Life Coach I see many people in their mid twenties and thirties who are looking to get some help with their own equivalent of a Midlife crisis.

Many young career minded people are earning significant sums and they might have a house or two, a fancy car, even a great relationship, but for some reason something seems to be missing.

The crisis often happens precisely when everything seems to be going really well.

Often it is when you’ve got everything you thought you ever wanted.

In the past it would take half your life to get everything you wanted, but now some people are finding that they’ve got everything they want in their mid twenties!

You might have imagined that you’d be happy if you were making £40,000 + a year, if you had that cool house, car, went on that holiday, got married to that special person etc… But you’ve got all of that and more, or most of it, but hey guess what?

You’re still not truly and deeply happy! You’re not as happy as you thought you’d be, in fact you’re life feels a little bit grey and beige, you don’t really like your job, you haven’t had time to make your house a home, the holiday was nice but no matter, you didn’t feel the sunshine on the inside!

You seem to be stuck, unmotivated, slightly depressed, slightly unsure what you’re doing with your life and what it’s really all about. But you keep on distracting yourself, avoiding the questions, avoiding the sense of beige that is slowly enveloping your life.

You go on even more holidays, work even harder, buy a new car, a new house, a new gadget, hoping that you’ll feel better. But it works for a while not then that dull heavy feeling slowly creeps back.

So what’s the cure?

Simply, it’s about discovering more Meaning and Purpose in your life.

Asking yourself the bigger questions about what you think you’re doing here on this little planet.

What’s your purpose in life?

What is the meaning of life?

Does it have any meaning?

Is there more to life than what I can see?

Something else that can really dramatically help you get over your quarter life crisis is helping others.

Not just giving money to a good cause – which is a great idea, but also get yourself actively involved in helping others.

It might mean volunteering for a charity, feeding the homeless or helping people who are disadvantaged.

Also discovering who you really are, looking inwardly and finding the person you were before your headlong plunge into your career.

It’s also important to rediscover the simple pleasures of life.

Do you remember being a kid? You used to enjoy the simple things in life, things that were free, like riding your bike in the park, having a go on the swing, messing around friends, eating blackberries, picking daffodils from a neighbours garden, laying in the grass and that kinda stuff.

Three tips – to help you over your quarter life crisis.

1. Look for meaning and purpose in your life

2. Actively help others

3. Rediscover your pleasure in the simple things

For more help and advice get in touch…

When writing business plans, making that investment in your business future, you often forget the most important asset in this whole venture and that’s YOU!

However great your business idea, what is ultimately going to make it a success is you! No matter what the business, it is people who are ultimately going to have to buy in to you and your business idea.

If you’re going to change this idea you’ve got in to a successful business reality then you’re going to have to be the real power behind it.

As an entrepreneur you’re going to need bag loads of self-belief, motivation, determination, vision, drive and passion. You’re going to have to learn how to first convince yourself, let alone the bank manager, that you are going to be successful.

Success is not just what you’ve achieved in your life, it’s not the car you drive, the house you own, the business you’ve created or what you’ve got in the bank, it is more importantly, a state of mind, a feeling that wells up in the core of your being that gives you that special twinkle in your eye and that confident bounce in your step.

How are you going to be successful? I’m going to let you in on a really powerful and practical tool that can really give you the continuous drive and motivation to make your business a real success.

This is how it works: Think about where you want your business to be in five years time? Imagine that your business is going to be a fantastic success. Let me ask you a few questions: What would it look like? How would it work? What’s your role? What’s your day like? How do you look? And most importantly, how do you feel? Do you feel confident? Do you feel successful?

If you can taste that future success now, then you’re on your way to becoming truly successful! Everyday take time to think about the person you want to be in the not to distant future and remind yourself of what it is like to feel so utterly successful.

So here’s the trick, start to be that successful person now, start to live with that feeling of success. It’s like getting a check from the future, take a little bit of that feeling of your future success and allow it to start influencing the way you feel and live today.

So when you walk down the street, people can tell that you’re already successful and you’re on your way to even greater success.

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This was first published in the March 2007 edition of EN Magazine